Katy Perry’s Lists

Dearest Di,

You know Katy Perry?

Oooohhh…Diiiii…

Katy Perry! You know, “Ca-Li-For-Nia Girls, Be Do Na Doony Doo” yada yada

Ca-Li-For-Nia

RIGHT! That Katy Perry. Well I was listening to the radio this morning. I like to start my day with some low-grade zone out music. Katy Perry, Rob Thomas. Lifehouse. That crew. And upon listening to KP’s new single “Last Friday Night” (which I admittedly find oddly endearing) I realized that our girl has actually just released another laundry list of bad choices. Let me explain…

Get your thinking cap on, Di! We are going to compare and contrast the lyrics to “Last Friday Night” (L.F.N.) with “Waking Up in Vegas.”  (W.U.I.V.) Let’s use everything we learned in school. Thesis:

To prove that 2 out of 3 of Katy Perry’s last singles were actually just lists of things she could not believe she did or just plain forgot about from the previous day(s).

Feelings of disorientation intoxication in the morning:

W.U.I.V

  • You gotta help me out
  • It’s all a blur last night
  • We need a taxi ’cause you’re hung-over and I’m broke
  • Why are these lights so bright?
  • Oh, did we get hitched last night dressed up like Elvis?

L.F.N.

  • There’s a pounding my head (much like our previous hang over)
  • It’s a black top blur (notice that we are in a “blur” yet again)
  • I smell like a minibar
  • DJ’s passed out in the yard
  • Think we kissed but I forgot
  • Glitter all over the room

Evidence of skanky choices from previous night(s):

W.U.I.V.

  • I lost my fake ID but you lost the MOTEL key
  • Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes now (Glitter AGAIN?! WHY?!)
  • That’s what you get for waking up in Vegas

L.F.N.

  • There’s a stranger in my bed
  • There’s a hickie or a bruise
  • We went streaking in the park
  • Skinny dipping in the dark
  • Then had a menage a trois

False bravado:

W.U. I. V.

  • Don’t be a baby
  • Remember what you told me

L.F.N.

  • Pictures of last night ended up online, I’m screwed, OH WELL
I think it’s safe to say, Di, that this confirms what we originally thought. She’s making some bad choices. To say the least. There are a lot more examples in Last Friday Night, mostly because there are more words. But either way, it’s bad.
LEARN FROM HER MISTAKES, DI!
Truth,
jb
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