Advice From a Stranger

My Dearest Di,
I’ve collected some information this week while we were apart… Important stuff. Life stuff. Whatever. Don’t make fun… 
I’d like to now impart this knowledge unto you. 
Don’t laugh, Di! Stop!… Just listen… 
Ok here goes.
I’d like to recommend never to eat falafel right before you sing.


Falafel in a pita.

Falafel in a pita.



Not even as a test of which foods will or will not give you indigestion. Not that I’ve tried it or anything. I just heard from this girl so I’m being a good friend in telling you that if you ever find yourself faced with that option, go ahead and turn it down.

Likewise, if you should ever come across buffalo shrimp and/or buffalo french fries, you can actually go ahead and eat them but just don’t plan on leaving your house after that.


A plate of buffalo shrimp.

A plate of buffalo shrimp.



Again, not that I’ve tried it but it’s just this girl told me about how she did. And so I’m being a good friend in telling you about the precautions you would need to take, should you find yourself faced with a plate of buffalo shrimp.

I know how you like zesty foods, Di. I’m just saying be responsible about it.

You’re welcome.

Oh! And you just reminded me. 
If you ever make a fruit smoothie, don’t blend it toooo long, because then too much air could get into it and it COULD develop this weird consistency and solidify in the cup. And then when you go to drink it, you MIGHT not be able to get it out at first.


A smoothie.

A smoothie.



And, I’ve heard, that when you try to tilt the cup back a little farther, it MIGHT all fall in your face as a unit, covering you with fruit smoothie. I’ve heard. I don’t know. The same girl tried it as I guess the one who did all that other stuff.

Don’t be an idiot, Di. OF COURSE the smoothie still tasted good!… 
Like I said. I’m just being a friend and passing on this information that came my way. From this girl. This stupid, sloppy girl. 

And you can do with it what you will.
love, jb

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